Pushing Through Fear

Another busy weekend is almost over. I'm so loving the 4 day work week!! Friday was salsa dancing at the Victoria Events Centre. A couple people from my work and some from bootcamp came to join me to learn some basic salsa steps.

It was nice to get a little dressed up and do something different. The teacher was funny and made it really enjoyable and comfortable. I would defiantly go back and try it again. After the one hour lesson all the "experienced" dancers showed up, that's when I just stood back and watched.

Saturday was long run in the morning. Tricia, Tonia, Sarah, John and I went out to Elk/Beaver Lake. Sarah & Tonia did 10K, John did 12K and Tricia joined me for my 14K training run. I was super impressed with our time which was a running pace of 6:08/KM taking a total of 1:30 to run 14KM doing 10 and 1s. It was much easier on my knees being on the trail as opposed to the road but I know I need to do training on the road as well since the 1/2 will be all on the road. Surprisingly enough when I was at 14KM I actually felt like I could keep going, whereas last week at only 12KM I was struggling. I'm really enjoying doing this training and pushing myself further and further each week but I know I will be happy when it's over and I can just run for the enjoyment of it instead of training. Though, knowing me I will have to find a new race to work towards. We will do 14KM again this coming Saturday and then work up to 16KM.

After the run we went with Sarah and Aaron out to Wildplay by Juan de Fuca Rec Center. We've had groupons for Wildplay for about 8 months, and it was another item on my bucket list.

Heights kinda freak me out but I don't have an overwhelming fear of them like some people. There are four levels of challenges, well they call them "games", the first two levels were okay for me. Really it is a mental game more than a physical game, you have to trust your ability to get yourself through it. Level three got a bit harder and there were a couple games that freaked me out a bit. After level three you come down to the ground and you can choose to go back up to the fourth and final level or to stop. Well I don't do anything 1/2 way so I went back up for level four of the coarse. This is where I faced some serious fear. I really had a full blown panic attack full of shaking and tears. Thank god Sarah and Aaron were there to talk me through it. Challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are, in this case I discovered I am stronger than I thought I was. I could have given up and just let myself hang on the safety line but I didn't, I pushed through and completed every single game. I am proud of myself, and will even go back if that tells you anything. It is really about overcoming those fears and pushing through and in doing that I become a better person.

Sunday was weigh in time, I had been anticipating getting to a big goal this week but it didn't happen. Last week I weighed in at 180.6, once I get to 180 that will mean I will have lost 50% of my original starting weight. Unfortunately this week I went back up, and up 4lbs. This is the same exact challenge I faced when trying to get under 200lbs, I was stuck there for almost 2 months and it frustrated me so much. It's almost like your body knows and just is revolting against you. I have a much different attitude about it this time. I know that I have done what I could do this week to ensure success while still living my life so in no way am I mad at myself. I am responsible for each and every choice I made this week, including a decision to drink alcohol so I accept the results of that. I have been doing this long enough to know that I still need to live my life and have balance. It will happen, and the number will move, but really it is no longer relevant. I focus much more on all the things I can do that I couldn't before, like Wildplay, salsa dancing and running 14KM.


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